Long time

So it's been a while, dear reader. How to catch up nearly a month without boring either you or I.

Well, after we returned from our lovely stay in the south of France, I suffered with a very strong pain in the hip/pelvis area. So strong I could barely walk more than a few metres. This came on exactly a week before we were due to fly out to Italy to stay with my dad and his partner Jenny in Italy.

I'd also been feeling increasingly tired. Fatigued. Knackered.

After trying a few home remedies, I eventually got on to the Christie hotline to ask about pain relief and they, quite sensibly, said that we should find out what was wrong before simply throwing more drugs at the problem and asked to me to go to my nearest A&E for an X-Ray to find out what's was going on.

In A&E at Wythenshawe we encountered the first of many excellent medical staff, when the triage nurse, while checking me in for an x-ray suggested I looked "a funny colour" and so also ordered some blood tests.

These tests showed I was anaemic, that my kidneys weren't doing doing as well as they could, and that I had too much calcium in my blood, so I was admitted and a selection of treatment was given. All of which took time, and all of which had to to checked to see if they were working, leaving my discharge perilously close to the holiday we were looking forward to.

As soon as I had the blood transfusion, I started to perk up no end. I also moved off Ibuprofen and onto Tramadol for the pain and that helped a load too.

I was let out on the Thursday evening.

I can't speak highly enough of the staff who looked after me during my stay. What a brilliant thing the NHS is.

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I contacted Lufthansa and suggested I needed wheelchair assistance in my journey (via Munich) and I have to say they were brilliant. Wheelchairs, golf buggies, minivan transfer to the plane all took stress and effort for us all and made the journey so much easier.

My dad picked us up from Ancona airport and we headed off into the Italian hills for a week of rest relaxation and wonderful food. Le Marche is the province next to San Marino, Abruzzo and Tuscany on the Adriatic Coast. I was weak and in pain so spent much of the time reading by the pool, but it was a really nice break.

During our stay, Gel and discussed the fact that I needed to bring forward my next appointment at the Christie because I was still having so much pain, and also I didn't want to end up back in Wythenshawe having more treatment if that could be avoided.

Ancona is quite a small airport and caters for slightly smaller aircraft than many others.

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The week after we got back Phil came over for a cup of coffee and gave me a present that my ex-colleagues at work had bought for me after a collection. A fantastic limited edition photo book by Joel Meyerowitz. I had a good cry over that.

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That now brings us to this week which has shot by. Monday we had a visit from a physiotherapist from our local GP surgery who game me some great tips about moving about and exercise.
Tuesday we visited the Christie and met with my consultant who was fairly calm about my blood levels, but wanted to get to the bottom of the pain I was having to ordered an MRI, which I had the following day thanks to a cancellation.
Thursday I had a phone call inviting me back for treatment on the Friday. Whoosh! They had detected some cancer on my spine which was impinging on my nerves and probably causing me this pain in my ribs, and wanted to give it a blast of radiation to see it off.

So we went back on Friday, had a good long chat with one of my consultants colleagues who explained the  procedure and then the process started, first with another scan in this:

This process also involved me being drawn on. On my chest and arms.

They then went off and spent a couple of hours planning the treatment which took about 15 minutes and delivered by this:

I felt a brief tingling on the skin on my back, I've had a slight discomfort in my throat (both of which I was warned of) and for one night the pain increased a little, which I was also warned of.

Between the scan and the treatment we wandered over to the Maggie's centre for a little peace and quiet.

A lovely peaceful place where you can sit and relax, get a cup of tea or coffee, and maybe some advice outside of the hospital environment, but still part of Christie's.

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So where am I now?

Well, I'm a lot perkier than before my stay in Wythenshawe, and my pain seems to be a little better than before my radiotherapy - they did say it might take a few weeks for me to feel the full benefit - so all in all I'm feeling very positive.

I've had lots and lots of professional and personal support from friends and family, and from the healthcare staff I've encountered, but the one who's done the most and without whom I'd be lost is Gel. She's there for me every minute of every day.

I am a lucky man.

Summer

Gel's brother (the one that lives in Brussels) has four kids, and his partner has three. All grown up. Trying to pin them all down to specific dates for a holiday is a bit difficult so they picked a couple of weeks, booked somewhere (in Provence), and declared open house. Andrew and Annike were very gracious to invite us to come down too.

Seemed like a good opportunity to get some sun and rest, and we were very happy to accept their invitation.

We arrived at Manchester Airport for our first flight to Schipol, dropped our baggage in, and then got a text saying our flight was cancelled.... :0(

This was a pain as we were only going for four nights.

After an hour or so at the KLM/Air France desk, and on the phone to Andrew, we had rearranged flights the following morning (VERY early) and, quite nicely, an extra day before returning.

We got up at three the following morning and got our flight and then realised we'd have about 25 minutes to get across Charles de Gaulle (CDG) to the boarding for our connecting flight to Marseille (MRS). This included another security check and passport check since UK is not part of the Shengen group.

We legged it and arrived in time to board, but when we arrived at MRS I got a text telling me that our bags hadn't been as nippy as us. Andrew met us at the airport, and was going there later so we asked if he could pick them up then? Of course not. That's not what the process was.....

Over the next 2-3 days we, or rather Annike, had a number of conversations with Air France telling them what a bunch of bums they were until our luggage arrived three days after we did. We all resolved to have three wardrobe changes for the rest of our stay.

Anyway, other than the cancelled flights, the unearthly start, and the lost luggage we had a great time. Mostly because we were looked after royally.

Provence lunch.

We had a couple of quick trips out. To Contignac:

Sleepy cat

Town Square

Pheebs and Lizzie

To Carces market where my camera was wrestled from my hand by a burly Frenchman to take our photo:

Literally across the road from the house, was a smallholder selling fruit and veg, so we had fresh food every day. The peppers in the middle of the pic had been picked from the plant a matter of seconds before I took the photo.

We also had a wiffwaff tourny, and here's an action shot of the Gel v Thibaud game, with Andrew refereeing.

All in all we had a great time, with love and thanks to Andrew and Annike and all the 'kids' for looking after us so well.

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Here's a question from the interweb I thought was very interesting:

                What's the first major news story you can remember living through as a child?

It's all about pain, baybee...!

So yesterday's visit to the hospital wasn't was gloomy as we'd expected. Sure the blood indicators aren't going in the direction we'd hoped, but that could be because the new drug is taking time to take effect. So another two months just to see what's occurring.

All this pain I'm getting is from the cancer that is in the bone, and I need to manage it. So I am now on a regime of 8 paracetamol a day and 3 uber-sized ibuprofen. Today is the first day of the new regime, and I have to admit there is an improvement. I'd say a good reduction in pain, with some of it becoming just discomfort, which I'll take for now thank you.

This may go down further as the drug can cause the cancer in the bone to "flare" a little before settling down. Fingers crossed eh?

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Stairwell. Benzie Building, MMU.

Today, Pheebs, Gel and I visited MMU School of Art for their Open Day. Very impressive.

I think we've all come back enthused about the University in general, and the Foundation course in particular. All three of fancy going on it.....but I suspect that might cramp Pheeb's style a bit.

The tutor-student interaction seemed great.

We then went to the MMU Art Exhibition which was stunning. It finishes today, so a bit pointless me recommending you visit, but perhaps you could bookmark it for next year. There really was some stunning work on display.

How do you feel today?

As it happens I feel almost human today. Yesterday was a bit of a struggle.

There are so many things that go into answering that question. What level of pain do I have, because the reality is over the last few weeks, there hasn't really been a day where I haven't been experiencing some degree of pain. From discomfort, up to bloody horrible. I wont use the the word unbearable because I'm pretty sure there is some sort of pain which is quite a way higher that what I've had. I suppose in some ways I'm grateful for that.

Did I sleep well, or am I, at the start of the day already tired.

Am I constipated because to get some decent sleep I popped a couple of Cocodamol, and one of the side effects is.....bunging you up. Have I got a swirly head (also a side effect of the Cocodamol)?

Do you feel hungry? Well, yes but I don't really want to eat. There is some combination of the drugs I'm using that makes me have this swirly tummy thing which on the one hand tells me I should eat, but on the other makes me feel I don't really want to.

I recent nights I do feel I've made some progress in reducing the hot flushes at night by sleeping under an empty duvet cover instead of a duvet (too hot) or under nothing (too cold), so that's good.

I seem to have come up with a strategy around pain control using paracetamol where possible, but taking them all day. Pre-empting the pain rather than waiting until it is upon me.

Bugger

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Yesterday Gel and I went to Macc to the opening day of the Barnaby Festival, which I have to admit I'd never heard of before. There was bunting, there were shop window displays, there was street art. We also went to see "Owen Jones in conversation with Nick Robinson". Nick Robinson is a Macc lad, and Owen spent much of his formative years in Stockport. It was a really interesting 90 minutes. Robinson talked about being chairman of Macc Young Conservatives, Jones talked about being a socialist activist still meant to he was to the political right of his parents.

It was fun and engaging. It was also a little frightening.

The campaigning around the EU referendum has been vicious, it has use scare tactics - particularly about immigrants - and and twisted and abused the facts. The atmosphere seems to have inspired the terrible killing of MP Jo Cox, and isn't simply going to disappear once the polls close on Thursday.

Luckily we have tickets to an all together less sobering event on Thursday to see the Barnsley Bard, Ian McMillan who seems to have an all round good rep.

Times

So, I am now a retired ex-employee of the Lloyds Banking Group. I have been retired on grounds of ill-health. This is something I am very grateful to them for. The thought of not having to worry about work is a real benefit. I have definitely slowed down, both physically and mentally.

I'm hoping that as my body gets used to the drugs I'm on those will lift a little. Certainly I seem to be seeing the back pain problems reducing, with the hope that they'll go completely.

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As Kurt Wallander said in the last episode on Sunday, parenting is a long process of letting go.

Two things happened this week that made Gel and I reminisce.

First it was Caitlin's 26th birthday. Where did that all go? I first clapped eyes on her as a visitor to Withington Hosptital when she was only a day or two old. There she was, the little bundle in Gel's arms, and just look at her now.

The second event was that Pheebs embarked on her first driving lesson. Again, where did that go? I remember that when I first held her in my arms she cried. I cried. I was scared I'd done something wrong, but we quickly got used to each other.

Shame on me/ Shame on her

Let's start with her. Her is Poussey, and as Pheebs and I were breakfasting yesterday morning, I saw Poussey scuttling across the decking with a small brown ball in her mouth. Pheebs immediately identified it as a sparrow, so we both tried to chase Poussey to retrieve it, but she was having none of it and shot back under the decking to do unpleasant things to poor little thing.

Stone-faced killer

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Why shame on me? Because it's taken rather longer than it should to work out why I've not been sleeping well the last few nights.

I've found that I've been waking about once an hour, maybe an hour and a half, with a right hot flush, and lungs full of menthol.

A few days ago I thought I'd try Deep Heat to try and calm my back, and have had Gel and Pheebs rub it in just before bed. What does deep heat do? It heats you up. What triggers my flushes? Being hot. Duh.

It also has upset my stomach breathing in clouds of menthol vapour. I've felt quite queasy for most of the time I've been rubbed down.

I feel so stupid for not realising earlier what it was that was upsetting my sleep. Duh.

My ribs and back are still sore and stiff, but I sense that there is an improvement. I'm now treading a fine line between not doing anything, and doing something that will set the pain off again. I'm trying to be less tentative in my posture. Less stiff, more natural. I think some of the time I've been "holding" myself in a position for fear of setting it off again.

Hopefully this isn't a false dawn, and the pain really is on the wane.

Deep heat makes you hot
Dick. That's why you're not sleeping
I hope this sorts it.

Sad/ Happy

Not sure what started it, but on occasion I have a go at a haiku. I'm not sure they are particularly good, but it's a fun bit of creativity. First one marked the passing of Joe Strummer.

Joe Strummer is dead
Should I stay or should I go?
Not his decision

In the wake the death of Muhammed Ali

He stung like a bee
He moved like a butterfly
Now he rests in peace

#haiku #ali

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Try not laughing at this.